Catholics can be sure that God’s grace is always available to help in all seasons of their married life. One of the best ways to tap into this grace is to pray. Prayer can be something that is planned using pre-prepared prayers (see link below) or it can be spontaneous and in-the-moment. Either way, asking God to be with you in the ups and downs of life can bring peace and clarity to any situation. Also, remember to give thanks, even for the little things. Gratitude is a powerful antidote to many of the negative things that can affect marriage and family life. 

You’ve heard the saying ‘it takes a village to raise a child?’ Well, it is even more true for a marriage! Cultivating relationships with a supportive network of people who believe in your relationship can support you through tough times. 

Many of our Catholic parishes, ministries and organisations can be great places to build relationships with others through community activities and volunteer opportunities. 

In the weeks or months following your wedding day, we encourage you to attend a Sunday Mass in the Church you got married in to meet some of the parishioners and touch base with your celebrant. Alternatively, look up the parish closest to you. 

Here in Brisbane, there are many organisations to get involved with depending on your time, location and interests. For more information click the link below. 

Communication is a pretty important part of marriage. Mostly, it will involve the everyday business of life like, who’s picking up the groceries, or what time you expect to have dinner. This is fine but remember that for marriages to grow it is vital to make time for communication that goes deeper. This means intentionally planning how you will make time and space for each other. This might be regular daily check-ins and weekly ‘date nights,’ through to weekends away each year. Whatever you decide to do will depend on your budget and lifestyle. The most important thing is to make these times a priority. The more you know your spouse and what’s happening in their life, the better able you will be to love each other throughout all the years to come. 

Some  people worry saying ‘I love you’ too much might lessen its meaning or potency, but in marriage the opposite is true. Saying ‘I love you’ to our spouse affirms our commitment and communicates to them that they are loved and lovable. So, say it as often as you can! 

Another power group of words is ‘I appreciate you.’ This is particularly true when life gets busy or stressful. Expressing appreciation communicates to our spouse things like: ‘I see you,’ ‘I notice all you are doing to help build our life together’ and ‘you are good and you make a difference to me.’

You may remember we said earlier that Catholic marriage is never just a private agreement two people to build a comfortable life together. For Catholics, marriage is about self-donation to each other; being open to the children and raising them well; and about nurturing the life of the faith community and beyond. 

Of course, how you do this will change depending on the circumstances of your family life at different times and that is okay! But, taking together time to do things for others can help create a great foundation for your relationship and family. Try some of these things to get you started: 

• Get to know your neighbours and make a point of saying hello.
• Visit older family members together.
• Get involved in your local parish charity, even just occasionally. 

Talk together about a charity to donate to and make a donation. There are so many options out there! The important thing is that giving back to the community helps us practise generosity and cultivates gratitude in our relationship. It helps us become couples who reflect God’s love to others.